A Tentative Alliance
by heretiks
Summary: It was only when, on the desolate planet of Wobani, a five-foot spitfire of a girl was knocked on her ass by K-2, that Cassian felt a flicker of emotion. Cassian/Jyn fic, rated M for future chapters. Diverges from Canon.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey guys, this is my first fic and I hope you enjoy! This is largely canon, but will eventually diverge from the films/books and will include scenes and events that did not take place in Rogue One. I hope to update semi-regularly, but I'm in uni so it really depends on my schedule. Of course I own none of the characters, and remain in debt to those who do.

This fic is rated M for future chapters

* * *

 **Prologue**

He was six when his battle began.

Six when the Festian civil war ripped his family apart. Six when streets jam-packed with people were blown to pieces by proton bombs strategically placed to wreak as much havoc as possible. Whether the protean Empire or Alliance ignited the first bomb, he never knew. His father stood with the rebellion, and so, Cassian decided, would he.

Life as an orphan in a pre-war galaxy was less than idyllic. Even with the Andor name, Cassian was shown little affection from the rebels that took him in. He found it difficult to fault them for this when people were dying left and right and the Empire advanced further and further into the most far-flung corners of space. Instead of malingering on his bad fortune, Cassian learned to pour himself into the work being done, finding gratification in his advancement through the rebel's ranks.

Twenty years later, his rank as captain somewhat quelled the numbing sensation he felt as he realized that his zealous dedication to the rebellion had left him isolated. Friendship is a fickle thing when everyone you know stands a decent chance of being dead tomorrow. He supposed K-2SO could be considered a friend if one was feeling generous, but the rewired bot never seemed to fill the hole that Cassian felt growing.

It was only when, on the desolate planet of Wobani, a five-foot spitfire of a girl was knocked on her ass by K-2, that Cassian felt a flicker of emotion.

* * *

She was six when she was forced to turn her back on her father.

Six when she sprinted through the treacherous landscape of Lah'mu to reach the safe room. Six when Saw Gerrara's weathered face appeared through the hatch and promised her safety. Jyn might not have been a soldier when Gerrara found her, but she sure as hell was one when he left her, ten long years later. Spurned by the only person she knew, Jyn roamed the galaxy under many names, turning her back on the insurgency she once fought for.

The Empire was no friend to her, presumably having killed both of her parents after Jyn fled. She existed in an uneasy truce with the Alliance, neither disapproving of their cause nor driven to fight for it. Survival was the end for which to justify the means for Jyn, and she often needed to steal and fight just to get by. Six years after Gerrara left her alone on Onderon, she found herself in an Imperial work camp on Wobani, where she was biding her time until the _goddamn_ Alliance busted through the transport shuttle's door.

Mere seconds later, after a heart-filled escape attempt, Jyn was flat on her back in the dust. Heaving for breath with the sound of a pompous droid in her ear, Jyn looked up into the smug face of an Alliance fighter and felt something she hadn't for years: rage.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey guys! The first proper chapter is in (a little short, but I'm working on making them longer). Again, I own none of the characters, but am very appreciative of those who do. This fic inevitably contains spoilers related to Rogue One, and potentially the larger Star Wars universe. There is definite divergence from the canon, but I'm trying to stay as close to the story as I can, while bringing something new to the topic. Rated M for language, and for future chapters. Reviews are always very appreciated (I'm sorta making this up as I go). Enjoy!

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Ep. 1 – A Forced Partnership

"Congratulations. You are being rescued. Please do not resist"

 _What was that goddamn droid on about now?_ Jyn pushed herself up onto her forearms and turned her withering glare towards the looming hunk of metal 'rescuing' her. The droid in question drew back a little, looking about as intimidated as robots could.

"Cassian, there is a thirty percent chance that this small human will kill you before we reach the ship," the droid said.

Jyn turned her scowl towards the man who stood out of reach behind the droid. Dressed in traditional Rebel garb with a Captain's insignia he struck an imposing figure, towering over her prone form. Much to her annoyance, he didn't cower whatsoever. Instead, his furrowed brow hinted at his suspicion and distrust of her – a distrust she had grown accustomed to seeing in the faces of nearly everyone she encountered.

"Well then, Kay-tue, it would appear that the odds are in our favour," the man replied without moving his eyes from her face. She noticed an unfamiliar lilt to his voice that indicated he, like her, was not a local.

Growing uncomfortable underneath the weight of his gaze, Jyn roughly pushed aside the hand the droid extended to her, rising to her feet with a slight groan. She stalked off away from her liberators, without a word to either of them. She made it no more than ten meters before she felt a hand circling her arm.

"This isn't much of a liberation if I'm not free to leave," she spat out, turning to face the man now looming in front of her.

"Kay-tue may call this a rescue mission, but you and I both know the Alliance doesn't risk its neck to set criminals like you free," Cassian retorted, still tightly grasping her arm.

"Thirty-seven," the droid interjected.

Ignoring the droid, Jyn tried to wrench her arm free, growling in frustration at her slight build. While she could take down entire squadrons of Stormtroopers with nothing but a blaster, there was only so much she could do against someone so much larger than her in close contact.

" _Let go of me,"_ Jyn snarled, chin thrust confrontationally in the air. She aimed a kick that should have left him writhing on the ground, but before it could land he shifted. Now holding her arm painfully behind her back, he began to frogmarch her towards a series of low-lying hills in the distance.

"With a thirty percent chance of you killing me? Sorry Erso, no fucking way."

"Forty-two," the droid mumbled.

On hearing her last name, a name she hadn't heard spoken aloud in years, Jyn froze, causing Cassian to smack his jaw into the back of her head.

As he let go of her and began to swear, Jyn fumingly turned on her heel, marching towards him until there were scarcely two inches between them.

"So, what, I'm supposed to come quietly? So you can force me into a fight I want no part of? I fight with no one," She spat at him, eyes blazing.

"You think this is a simple recruitment mission? That I risked the lives of _my_ men to save _you,_ a scrappy criminal who went and got herself captured by the Empire?" He indignantly returned.

"Forty-four"

"At least I'm worth capturing, unlike you. You Alliance are all the same – all holier-than-thou, militant, grade-A _assholes_ who couldn't explain their cause if they tried."

"Couldn't explain the cause? At least I have a cause! At least I realize there's something worth fighting for! That there are people _dying_ for no other reason than that the Empire didn't like the look of them!"

"Forty-Seven," The droid muttered.

"What?!" They both screamed, wrenching their gazes away from the others heated face to glare at Kay-tue.

"So sorry to interrupt," the droid drawled, "but the odds of Cassian being killed or seriously maimed between here and the ship has risen to forty-seven percent."

Jyn and Cassian both untensed slightly, distracted from the heat of the argument. As they mistrustfully glared at each other across the droid, who had taken the liberty of strategically placing himself between them, both felt their anger deflate slightly. At that very moment, K-2SO noticed a figure in the distance, rapidly growing closer.

"The probability of either of you making it to the ship has now reached a shocking new low," the droid commented in a panicked tone.

Turning their heads in the direction of K-2's gaze, both Jyn and Cassian recognized the silhouette of an Empire carrier drawing nearer. Without second thought, the trio began sprinting towards the distant hills, K-2SO effortlessly taking the lead due to his long build. As Jyn began to pull ahead, the carrier accelerated until it was nearly upon them. Although Jyn felt nothing close to affection for the smug captain, she wasn't about to allow the Empire the satisfaction of his capture, and slowed to help drag him along.

K-2 was already at the ship hidden between two sloping hills. Starting the engine, he began to prepare for a prompt evacuation when Jyn and a gasping Cassian stumbled aboard. Hastily lifting off from the blackened planet, K-2 piloted the vessel through a series of canyons and hills, attempting to lose the Empire craft. His efforts were to no avail, and the Imperial ship pursued them closely, firing sporadically but accurately at their vessel.

"Shift to lightspeed and get us the hell out of here," Jyn cried.

"Attempting to shift to lightspeed at such low altitudes while the engines have yet to warm up is almost certainly fatal," the droid argued.

"Shift to lightspeed Kay-tue or I swear I'll rewire you as a disposal droid," Cassian bellowed. Jyn glanced over at him, shocked by his show of solidarity.

Muttering to himself about the probability of certain death, K-2 pointed the nose of the ship towards the stars and started to accelerate. Everything blurred as the craft traveled at lightspeed past Wobani's orbit and out into the galaxy beyond. The ship groaned and clanked as the lightspeed drive began to fail, the vessel shuddering to a halt. Inertia threw Cassian and Jyn forward into the rigging, where they lay panting from the chase. Jyn swore she heard Kay-tue let out a cry of relief.

* * *

"Well the lightspeed drive is bantha fodder after that stunt we pulled, but the regular engines are still functional," Cassian grunted, pulling himself out from under the console.

"Looks like you're going to have to let the Alliance know that your glorified kidnapping is taking longer than you expected," Jyn smirked, revelling in the captain's annoyance. "Without your lightspeed drive working, I suppose I'll have plenty of time to slip away."

Not bothering to look up at her, Cassian motioned to the hatch. "There's the door, feel free to use it," he returned, brushing his hands off on his pants before standing.

"Who's to say I won't?" Jyn quipped, surprised that his words stung. She had gotten used to being alone in the galaxy, with no one to care whether she lived or died. Why should this be any different?

Cassian shrugged, moving to leave the cramped space, before pausing in the doorway. "The way I see it, we have three weeks Galactic Standard Time back to base on Yavin 4. I'm not going to waste my time watching over you. Just remember, if you kill me in my sleep you'll only have Kay-tue for company, and I can assure you he isn't half the ray of starlight that I am." Cassian turned to leave before pausing, "I eat at 1800, join me if you'd rather eat stale nutri-bars than starve," he said, leaving Jyn to her thoughts.

* * *

 _Three weeks… Three weeks of living in this piece-of-shit vessel with it's nerfherder of a captain,_ Jyn sighed. Sitting with a groan she pulled out her necklace, given to her by a long-dead mother. Running the jagged crystal between her fingers, she felt a stirring inside her. Memories of Imperial troopers slaughtering her parents rushed into her head. An overwhelming hate for the Empire and what they took from her resurfaced, spurred on by her recent escape.

For the first time in years, Jyn wanted to see them pay.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Hey guys, chapter two is up! I'm trying to update relatively frequently because I know once I'm back at school progress will be much slower. This story progresses at a slower pace than others (in terms of romance) but I'm trying to make it as authentic as I can, so please bear with me. Thanks for all who reviewed thus far! I love getting feedback. While this does diverge from canon, I'm trying to hit most of the major plot points (even if they're not exactly as shown in the movie). Rated M for language, and future chapters (which I promise, are coming). Enjoy!

* * *

Ep. 2 – An Unwanted Truth

She couldn't seem to stop pacing, walking up and down the lengths of the small ship countless times. K-2 was manning – for lack of a better term – the cockpit, where he could be heard rattling on about how truly inadvisable it was not to cuff Jyn up in the loading dock. She couldn't help but agree with the droid, she herself didn't know how complacent she was willing to be.

The captain had retreated to his quarters, where he had remained for the last few hours without so much as a word to her. Even though he had all but kidnapped her, she couldn't help but find him fascinating. All the rebels she had met thus far had a focused, but relaxed air about them. There was a shared camaraderie amongst the Alliance that was in clear juxtaposition to the bureaucratic and cold nature of the Empire. The captain – Cassian – on the other hand, seemed tense and guarded, showing none of the light-hearted nature she had grown accustomed to seeing on the rebel's faces.

After pausing outside the door to his cabin multiple times, she tried to muster the courage to approach him – whether in a confrontational manner or not she wasn't sure. She walked up to his door to knock only to freeze just before it, unsure of what to say. Jyn was painfully aware that her years alone had left her inexperienced in the art of conversation. She rarely opened her mouth if not to haggle with an unreasonable merchant or to tell rag-tag groups of kids to keep their eyes to themselves.

She stood outside his door chewing her lip, her stomach a ball of anxiety. At that moment the door slid open, in it's frame the captain with damp hair that curled slightly at his neck. Quickly stepping backward, Jyn tried to tame her face into a mask, so as not to betray how suddenly vulnerable she felt. Without saying anything, Cassian took a step forward, eyes roaming her face as he waited for her explanation. Jyn herself hardly knew why she was there, to demand information about her 'rescue' suddenly seemed weak. She didn't want it to appear as though he had something she wanted, no matter how much that might be true.

"I'm… hungry," she weakly said, internally kicking herself for such a transparent lie. She was sure he could see right through her, and was at that very moment laughing at her clear unease. Face hardening, she thrust her chin proudly out, wiping all emotion from her mind. He looked unconvinced, and she could swear he was almost smirking, though his face remained its usual mask of focus.

"I see you've decided to stick around," he quipped, pushing past her to make his way towards the galley.

"As enticing as eternal escape from you seemed," Jyn retorted, following him, "I couldn't fathom missing the nutri-bar you promised."

"Prepare to be disappointed with your choice," Cassian said as they reached the narrow galley, which was no more than a couple of rusty appliances and a decrepit-looking table. Pulling out a couple of nutri-bars from a cabinet, he sat at one end of the table, gesturing that she should do the same. Sliding her the bar, he began to gingerly eat his own, bent over with his forearms on his knees.

Sitting opposite him, one leg bent at the knee with her foot on the chair, Jyn picked up the bar he passed her and tentatively nibbled at the corner. It was tasteless and had a dusty texture, but really wasn't as bad as he had made it seem. After surviving from day to day for years, she had had worse. Glancing up from her food, she eyed him wearily.

"Why is the Alliance so desperate to get to me that they sent an officer?" Jyn asked.

Sitting up slightly, he looked at her for a moment, deciding whether or not he should tell her the truth.

"When was the last time you were in contact with your father?" Cassian asked, in way of answering her question.

"Fifteen years ago," Jyn answered wearily, unsure of where this line of questioning could lead.

"Any idea where he's been all that time?" Cassian pushed, leaning forward. Jyn drew back in her seat, battling with a series of conflicting emotions.

"I like to think he's dead, makes things easier," she all but whispered, a wave of guilt pouring through her. As much as she loved her father, she couldn't bear to think of him as a pawn of the Empire, a group he so fiercely hated.

Cassian paused for a moment, not unsympathetic to the difficulties of speaking of one's past.

"Easier than what? Than he's been a tool of the Imperial war machine?" He asked, his anger beginning to grow at the idea.

Swallowing her disbelief and guilt, Jyn restored her cool exterior.

"I've never had the luxury of political opinions," she countered.

Drawing to his feet, Cassian tried to contain his ire.

" _Luxury?"_ He spat out darkly, placing his clenched fists on the tabletop. "Few of us consider these opinions a _luxury_ ," he intoned, his face a mask of simmering rage.

"Tell me, _Jyn_ ," Cassian fumed, "is it a luxury to watch your family die in front of you? To pick up the very blaster your father had been carrying when he fell and answer the call to arms?"

He turned away from her then, his face threatening to reveal an all-consuming anguish he hadn't felt in years. Moments passed in tense silence, Jyn regretting her insensitivity, and Cassian his outburst. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned slightly in response, not quite willing to face her.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, feeling uncomfortable. She had never been good at comforting people, even as a child.

Cassian pulled away, returning to the other end of the table. He couldn't help but feel ashamed at his display of emotion.

"Galen Erso is an Imperial engineer," he said in a calmer tone, ignoring his outburst. "Helping the Empire build a superweapon capable of destroying entire planets. There's an Imperial pilot on Jedha that claims he was sent by your father."

Jyn took a moment to absorb the information. _Her father was alive?_ She had spent years mourning him and her mother, years spent believing she was an orphan. Realizing he had not only been alive all this time, but working for the Empire was more than she could bear.

"That's impossible, he hated the Empire," she responded, placing her head in her hands. She wanted to block everything out, to forget the Empire and the Alliance, forget about the serious captain and his annoying droid. She wanted to go back to when she was six and her parents were still alive and tangible. To think that her father now worked with the Empire, the very people whom she had watched murder her mother, was incomprehensible.

Cassian suddenly felt awkward, as though he were intruding on a private moment. He had always assumed Jyn knew about her father, maybe even that she was complicit in his actions. He could see now that this was not the case, and felt a twinge of guilt for so callously accusing her father of betraying the Alliance. In an attempt to alleviate the tension in the room, Cassian prattled on, relaying more details about his mission.

"Apparently, the defector has been captured by Saw Gerrara, your old mentor. The Alliance wants to use you to establish contact with Gerrara… You did once know him, didn't you?" He asked gently.

Removing her face from her hands, Jyn nodded.

"Yes, but that was a long time ago," she answered, "and I'm not sure I'll be of much help. He left me years ago, without so much as an explanation." She tried with little success to hide the bitterness from her tone. As long ago as it had been since she had seen Gerrara, she was still hurt over his abandonment. While he was her caregiver, she had been a loyal member of the Alliance, often accompanying Gerrara and his soldiers on planned attacks against Imperial bases. Since he and the cause had abandoned her, she felt little allegiance to the rebels.

"Besides," she added, "I don't see why I should help you. The alliance has shown time and again how little it cares for me."

"You'd be free to go after you helped us establish contact with Gerrara," Cassian replied. After a moment he added with a slight smile, "and because you know that the Alliance isn't half as bad as you make it out to be."

Despite her look of disbelief, Jyn didn't argue. As much as she didn't want to see Gerrara again, she knew the Alliance had information about her father's whereabouts. While that wasn't enough for her to run to the rebel recruitment office, it meant she was willing to stick with them for the moment.

"Alright," Jyn conceded, rising to her feet and making to leave the galley, "I'll help you with Jedha. So long as you don't expect me to salute you every time you walk through the damn door."

Grinning at her back, Cassian was relieved that she had taken the news of her father as well as she did. A small part of him, so small even he wasn't aware of it, was overjoyed that she had decided to stay.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hey guys, hope you are all having a great pre-christmas (or if you don't celebrate, just a great week in general)! I know this episode (er... chapter) took a little longer to upload, and I'm not going to lie, I was totally just too hungover to write. In any case, I hope you like the direction I'm taking the story. I'm a fan of the slow burn, and I think it's particularly relevant for these two characters (I just can't imagine them rushing into anything). However, this chapter definitely has more of a Cassian/Jyn vibe to it.

I love all the reviews (keep them coming s'il vous plait), don't be afraid to point out things you wish I would change/ work on. As always, I don't own the story, and this fic is rated M for language (currently) and for future chapters. Enjoy!

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Ep. 3 – Too Full a House

Jyn had always assumed the rebel life was, if lacking in glamour, at the very least dangerous and exciting. The unseen reality, she had realized since boarding Cassian's ship, was that her hours were more often than not filled with boredom. There was little to do by way of entertainment, no holofics or books were kept on board because the craft was intended for short trips at lightspeed. The ship largely ran itself, under scrupulous – almost matronly – oversight from K-2, leaving little for Jyn to do. Occasionally, Jyn listened to K-2 and Cassian play 'cards', which seemed to be a relic from the early days of man. Try as she might she couldn't understand the intricacies of the game, which often seemed to take different forms entirely.

After days of purposefully keeping to herself and limiting her contact with Cassian and K-2, she appeared in the doorframe of the galley, made her way over to the table, and sat between the two of them. Too proud to explain herself, she raised a combative eyebrow at Cassian – daring him to question her. He merely gazed steadily back at her, shifting the cards between his hands in intricate patterns.

After Jyn begrudgingly admitted that she had never played before, Cassian and K-2 explained the basis of card-playing. The strange faces became Kings and Queens, and the colours and suits took on new meaning, the practice of shifting around the cards became known to her as 'shuffling'. She learned that the deck itself wasn't a game, but a tool for playing. Jyn slowly realized the ingenuity of a game that allows for nearly incalculable variation. Cassian was a focused and sincere teacher, methodically explaining the nuances of the deck, never laughing at her missteps. Jyn found her eyes tracing the shape of his brow, its furrow less prominent than she had seen before. He seemed to have a familiarity with the cards, a certain ease that indicated a life of playing. Slowly, the tension between the trio faded, replaced with a tentative camaraderie.

Jyn soon became infatuated with poker, intrigued that there were stakes to be had, that real consequences could result from a fabricated game. After being ruthlessly exploited by K-2 for four nights in a row, both Cassian and Jyn decided that the game would be best played between the two of them. As a result of their losses, Jyn and Cassian had amassed a series of K-2's unwanted duties, ranging from unclogging the fresher to greasing the many cogs and circuits of the ship.

"In human culture, it is considered bad taste to exclude others," K-2 pouted, after Jyn and Cassian refused to play another round of poker with him.

"We're lightyears away from human culture. Besides, there's no fun in playing when you can calculate the exact probability of each hand," Cassian pointed out, barely hiding a grin at the disgruntled droid.

"We just can't stand losing to you anymore Kay-tue," Jyn added, sending a conspiratorial glance in Cassian's direction. "You're far too superior."

The droid looked momentarily placated as he considered Jyn's words.

"Very well," he conceded, "it does seem only sporting to give the less capable a chance." The droid turned to leave the galley, stooping through the human-sized door frame. Turning back at the last moment, he looked at Cassian.

"With near certainty, Jyn Erso will beat you swiftly. She is far more intelligent than you," K-2 warned, leaving for the cockpit.

Cassian and Jyn watched the droid leave in stunned silence, only looking at one another after he could no longer be heard making his way to the helm of the ship. Jyn unsuccessfully tried to stifle a snicker at Cassian's bewildered expression, his eyes wide and mouth agape.

"He's right you know," she teased impishly. "Far more intelligent."

He remained silent for a moment, his baffled gaze sliding between Jyn and the doorway K-2 had recently abandoned. His mouth audibly snapped shut as he reschooled his features into their usual mask of practiced focus.

"I may have crossed a couple wires when I reprogrammed him," Cassian retorted, his voice clipped but good-natured. "He says unfounded things. No reason to put stock in it." He intently shuffled the cards, elaborately manipulating them in his hands. Jyn leaned forward, chin resting on her hands, her eyes alight with trouble.

"Well now that you have your honour to defend," she grinned, "I guess you should start dealing."

Cassian sighed but didn't complain, dealing the cards neatly between the two of them, placing the remaining pile in the center of the table.

"Set the stakes, Erso." He countered, voice low, gazing at her intently, his fingers knit together.

Suddenly, Jyn realized the potential gravity of the otherwise lighthearted situation. She was not naïve – she knew how other, perhaps more confidently wanton women may approach this situation. She briefly imagined what it might be like if she behaved as they would. For much of their initial time together, Jyn had perhaps purposely ignored the aspects of Cassian that drew her to him. The way his hair fell over his ever-furrowed brow, the hint of stubble on his cheeks, his worn strength. The quiet weariness he exuded, an unyielding focus. All these things together created a near-gravitational pull, and she felt as though she had fallen into orbit around him. He was a point of constancy bordering on comfortable predictability in a world which she found so turbulent and changing.

Jyn realized she had gone far to long without answering, a certain tension forming at her silence. This was a tension very different than had been present the first day they met. That was a tension borne of mistrust and anger, where blood was set to boil. This was a tension perhaps more uncomfortable, it made Jyn want to run from the room and yet kept her rooted to her seat. Forming an answer, Jyn found her throat dry and her voice near cracking.

"Stakes?" She trailed off. "We could… play for nutri-bars?" She said weakly, her nervousness turning her answer into a question. The instant she said it, she wanted to kick herself for being so cowardly, for not reaching out and grasping at an opportunity she feared she would never see again.

Cassian took a moment to answer, rifling through his cards before looking up.

"I don't think that's much of an incentive," he intoned, "we both know they taste like shit. What else have you got?"

He was pushing her, she realized. Even with barely any experience, Jyn understood that they were now playing a game far older than poker. Due to a healthy mixture of anxiety and pride, Jyn settled on an answer that neither clearly invited nor dismissed the idea of… of what she was not quite sure.

" _When_ you lose," she quipped, not without jest. "You have to sing me a song. Properly too, not a half-assed nursery rhyme."

Back on more familiar grounds, Jyn felt her confidence begin to resurface. The ball was back in his proverbial court, where she preferred it to be. If he was surprised or disappointed at her side-stepping, he didn't show it, instead his eyes glinted with levity.

"Whether or not you have the better cards," he replied, "you lose. I have a truly terrible voice."

With a resurfaced sense of bravado, Jyn found herself able to banter with Cassian, only occasionally distracted by a sidelong glance. Unsurprisingly, Jyn won round after round, until the 'best-of-three' became 'best-of-nineteen', and Cassian had to accept his fate.

"A bet is a bet," Jyn gloated as Cassian tried to back out of singing. He stood, blushing, at the end of the table, fiddling with the deck of cards. Jyn felt a twinge of sympathy at his nervousness, but found the entire situation too amusing to let him renege.

"I'll… I'll sing a song if you tell me about your necklace," he blurted out, the lilt in his voice becoming more pronounced as his tone became huskier. Surprised, Jyn glanced down to realize the jagged crystal she wore on a cord had escaped the confines of her shirt.

"Okay," Jyn murmured, surprising herself. She wasn't prone to divulging information about her life, much less information about a family she had assumed for so long to be dead. "You have to go first."

Nodding, Cassian visibly gulped before shakily intoning a few bars of melody in a language Jyn had never heard – presumably his native tongue. The tune was sweet if a little sad, and sounded like a folk song of sorts. Jyn felt a slight nostalgia at his foreign words, sung in the way of one who has been gone from home for a long time.

"You weren't lying," Jyn grinned, speaking after a moment, "you really are a terrible singer."

Shooting her a dirty look, Cassian took a deep breath, clearly glad to be done with his performance.

"Fair's fair," he retorted, "tell me about the necklace." He spoke almost tentatively, as though he was uncertain she would follow through on her end of the bargain.

Without looking up at him, Jyn explained that her mother had given her the necklace shortly before she had died, and that it was an heirloom of sorts. She spoke quickly and without emotion, but it was evident to Cassian that her demeanor was a rehearsed front, and that the memories of her family were not easy to reckon with.

Nodding his gratitude, not willing to cheapen the moment with verbal platitude, Cassian rose.

"We should go to bed, time is a fickle thing in space and abiding by the clock can keep a crew sane," he said.

Jyn hastily rose to her feet, legs unsteady, and quickly made her way towards the door. Cassian had the unsettling habit of both putting her at ease and on edge, at times simultaneously.

Both Cassian and Jyn made to exit, eager to escape the tension that had yet again been growing. In their urgency, they reached the doorway at the same time, crowded together in the tight space of the frame. Lips parted, Jyn was forced to look up to see Cassian, momentarily frozen by their proximity. He was looking back down at her, equally as transfixed. The air between them felt so dense that dust particles seemed to freeze midair. Jyn could feel the cool shape of the door frame pressed against her back, every nerve of her body hyperaware of her surroundings.

As they heard K-2 clatter around in a distant part of the ship, the trance was broken. Both Jyn and Cassian attempted to move from the doorway, unsuccessfully timing their movements. After multiple fumbles, Cassian gripped Jyn by her upper arms and manoeuvered both of them through the doorway into the slightly wider corridor outside. With hastened goodnights, they hurried back to their individual quarters, firmly sealing their doors behind themselves.

* * *

Back in her cramped room, Jyn perched gingerly on the edge of her bed, mind racing as it replayed the last few hours. Images of Cassian's face – serious and quiet, or grinning but genuine– chased each other through her head.

Lying awake, Jyn knew not exactly what she wanted, but with growing certainty she realized she wanted it.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys! I hope you had a great Christmas. In the spirit of the holidays, please forgive me for such a long wait, I was busy spending time with my family. As a fun sort of cross-fandom game, if you recognize the name of a planet I made up, let me know in the comments/reviews! As always, try to have patience with Jyn and Cassian (or at least the way I portray them)... they have their fair share of baggage. As always, I own nothing, and this fic is rated M for language and future chapters.

This one is for the late Princess, as inspirational now as ever.

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Ep. 4 - Something Bruised

The next morning Jyn woke after only a few hours of sleep. She and Cassian had to set alarms to prevent oversleeping. Like he had warned the previous night, it was very easy to lose track of time in space, where there are no horizons much less sunrises. As it were, the days had begun to bleed together in Jyn's mind. While she had travelled through space before, her trips were always quick, utilizing the lightspeed drive of the ship. This was her first voyage worthy of the name.

Sitting up, Jyn rubbed her eyes, adjusting to the dim light of the room. It was sparsely furnished, with nothing but a small bed and a chair. There was nothing to show that this room was inhabited by her, no trinkets or decorations. Because of her imprisonment and subsequent liberation, Jyn had nothing to her name but the clothes on her back. The lack of adornment in the room left her feeling very much a guest in this strange place.

Thinking about the night before, Jyn attempted to push down the emotions threatening to boil over. She felt embarrassment at the thought that she had been so candid, insecurity at the uncertainty of his feelings this morning, and a sense of longing that she tried hard to quell. On top of everything she felt insurmountable guilt that she was so enthralled by a _man_ while her father lived and breathed a galaxy away.

Absentmindedly toying with her necklace, she went to put on her clothes, having only slept in the fewest of layers. As she dressed she realized that, as she had brought nothing with her, she had no change of clothes. While Jyn was used to living in less-than-ideal conditions, she wasn't thrilled with the possibility of wearing the same clothes until they reached Yavin 4. Only a few days into their journey, that left a little over two weeks of recycling clothes, including those best left unrecycled.

After glancing around the room in the futile hope that there may be a yet-unseen dresser, Jyn realized she would have to ask Cassian for help. The implications of asking to wear his clothes was not lost on Jyn, and the feelings of embarrassment and insecurity she was trying to suppress began to surge. Steeling herself for the upcoming debacle, she lifted her chin and all but stalked to Cassian's quarters. Jyn had learned early on that a good offense frequently beat the shit out of a good defense, and that she was excellent at being offensive.

Knocking primly at his door, she prepared to coolly ask him for much-needed clothes. She schooled her features into a mask void of emotion – perhaps for a hint of pride. If one of them were to acknowledge the night before, she decided, it wouldn't be her. She heard rustling on the other side of the door, before it slid open to reveal Cassian. He looked as though her knock had woken him, his sleepiness still evident by the smoothness of his brow and the slackness of his jaw. His shirt had been buttoned wrong and his pants hung loose on his hips, belt undone.

Her eyes roamed his face for a moment, as he waited expectantly in the doorframe. Behind him she could glimpse his room, almost equally as minimally adorned as hers, save for a few pictures.

"I need clothes," she said in a sharp tone, "I haven't any with me." The words came out harsher than even she had intended, especially now that she had found him barely awake.

Blinking owlishly a few times, he nodded, turning back into the room and walking to a low-lying dresser. While Cassian busied himself finding her clothes to wear, she glanced covertly around the room. The pictures on the wall turned out to be prints of old paintings, a woman cloaked in gold, the distorted portrait of a man. There were two small holopics by his bed, which remained dishevelled after his hasty awakening, but they were too small for Jyn to see.

Turning back towards Jyn, Cassian held out a pile of clothing, still mute in his grogginess. Passing them to her, he ran a hand over the back of his head, displacing his hair so that it stood up at odd angles. Taking the pile, Jyn allowed herself to lock eyes with him for a moment. Neither of them spoke, and the tension between them grew. When it was apparent that Cassian was either unwilling or too dazed to mention the night before, Jyn nodded slightly in lieu of a thank you, and returned to her room.

She stood leaning against her closed door and breathed deeply. Placing the pile of clothes on the bed she rifled through them, withdrawing a clean shirt and pair of pants. Quickly undressing, she stepped into her refresher – accessed by pulling out a section of the wall. Once she was reasonably clean she donned the clothes Cassian had given her, rolling up the cuffs of the shirt and the pants until they rested at her wrists and ankles. The shirt was soft and the pants durable, they were clothes for working, which suited Jyn. She had never been one to sacrifice comfort and practicality for flattering fabrics and shapes.

Pulling on her shoes – the only item she herself owned – she slipped through the door of her bunk, making her way towards the galley. Locating a nutri-bar, she sat down at the weathered table, lost in thoughts of her father and the night before. After a few moments, Cassian entered without so much as a word to Jyn and took his place at the other end of the table, nutri-bar in hand. The two of them ate in silence, barely glancing at each other.

"How long until –"

"What were you –"

Both started at the same time, intending to break the silence in favour of light conversation. Laughing, Cassian gestured to Jyn.

"You first," he said, leaning forward so his forearms touched the table.

"I was going to ask when we would reach Yavin," Jyn clarified, fiddling with the cuff of his shirt.

"About two and a half weeks Galactic Standard," Cassian replied, all business. "We have to stop over in New Devon to resupply, we weren't planning for a lengthy trip. If we can find a way to fix the lightspeed drive while we're there, we can reach Yavin 4 a couple days sooner."

As he spoke about the voyage, his voice relaxed and he visibly untensed. This was information he knew and territory with which he was familiar.

"That's a relief," Jyn commented, knowing as she said it that it was a falsehood. She _should_ be relieved. Relieved that she would be one day closer to freedom and to her father. Yet Jyn felt almost sad at the thought of being cast out of the ship, free to wander the galaxy as she had before. While she should be ecstatic at the thought of reuniting with her father, Jyn felt apprehensive. She had spent more time apart from him, believing him dead, than she had in his company.

"How about you, what were you going to say?" Jyn quickly added, eager to distract herself from her confusing inner monologue.

"I was wondering, what were you doing in an Imperial prison camp in Wanobi?" Cassian asked, eyes intent upon Jyn's face.

"Well that particular time I think it had been theft, though it's difficult to remember," Jyn answered, one corner of her mouth turning up in mirth. "I may have also told the officer who arrested me where he could shove his arrest warrant. As it turns out, the Empire does not take kindly to insolence," Jyn continued, pulling the collar of his shirt aside to reveal a thin red scar.

Cassian's eyes darkened slightly as he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, baring his forearm. A small but angry burn scar marked his skin.

"From when I was ten," he said in the way of an explanation, "and I got in the way of a routine search." He looked at Jyn with no pity, something for which she was grateful. Eyes alight with the spirit of competition, Jyn placed her leg on the edge of her chair and pulled up the hem of his pants. A jagged but faded scar was revealed, standing out against her comparatively pale leg.

"From when I crawled through a broken window," she explained, trying to one-up him. "A couple of bucket-heads were in pursuit after I stole one of the blasters they had left propped against a wall."

Not to be outdone, Cassian began unbuttoning the topmost buttons of his shirt, pulling it to one side to reveal a shoulder.

"Laser-burn from an Imperial blaster," he countered, revealing a red char mark. "Got into a fire fight with two Imperial agents. We were both looking for the same informant, and they weren't pleased that I got there first." His tone was excited, his accent growing thicker.

Without hesitation, Jyn pushed up her sleeve, revealing a thin and faded scar on the inside of her wrist.

"From when I fell," she elaborated, trying to jokingly prove that _she_ had escaped more close calls with the Empire than Cassian. "Stormtroopers were chasing me through the mountains, after my parents…"

She trailed off, her voice quieting to a whisper. Her words hung in the air, the room now silent. She hadn't meant to so flippantly mention her parents, or to share that detail of her life with Cassian at all. She remained silent, both shocked at her loquaciousness and upset by the memories it recalled.

Reaching across the table, Cassian took her wrist in his hands, rubbing a warm thumb over the small scar. His eyes searched her face, neither pitying nor unsympathetic.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She met his gaze for a long moment, not able to hide the mixture of emotions she felt. She had thought more about her parents in the few days she had been aboard this ship than she had in years. Tears sparked in her eyes, even as she willed them not to fall.

As he continued to rub small circles around her wrist, Jyn found herself glancing at his unbuttoned shirt, through which she caught a glimpse of his chest, his hair, which fell messily across his brow, and his eyes which bore into hers. Again, her thoughts were dichotomized between a foreign sense of longing and an intense feeling of guilt. Even with the thought of her parents fresh in her mind, she still found herself drawn to Cassian as if unable to turn away.

The room was silent as she dragged her eyes away from his mouth, her face a mixture of pain and longing. Cassian's hand stilled, remaining around her wrist.

One moment his eyes were on hers, and the next he had lunged across the table, one hand cupping the back of her neck. His mouth was on hers, neither rough nor gentle. Cassian tried to convey a host of emotion through the kiss, unable to place any of what he was feeling into words. Sympathy, desire, the need to comfort her.

Jyn remained unmoving, neither rejecting nor deepening the kiss. She was frozen by shock and by the restraints she had placed on herself her entire life. Never before had she allowed herself to _want_ , to be distracted, to share her burden with another. She was both desperate to reach out and pull him closer and to run as fast as she could in the other direction.

After a second which stretched into an eternity, Cassian pulled back, suddenly very aware of the consequences of his decision. He barely looked at Jyn for a moment before turning and making to leave, fastening his shirt as he stepped through the doorway, his hands shaking. His pace was measured so as not to betray the fact that he wanted nothing more than to escape her presence as quickly as possible. His cheeks flared with embarrassment as his mind flooded with thoughts, none of them charitable.

As soon as he broke the kiss, Jyn saw hurt and regret cloud his face, as he quickly turned away. She wanted to reassure him, to erase his pain, but couldn't escape her shock. Panic rose within her as she saw him slip further and further away from her, physically and emotionally.

"Cassian… I," she blurted out, but he was already gone.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, I was on vacation with no access to the internet. Anyways, here's the latest installment, complete with complicated feelings and K-2's insensitivity. As always, I own nothing, and appreciated every review you guys leave (seriously, I'm turning into an egotist, and it's all because of you). M for future (potentially near-future) chapters, and language. Enjoy!

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Ep. 5 – Like Sound in Space

 _I'm a fool,_ Cassian thought bitterly, the narrow halls of the ship passing by as if in a dream while he hastened towards the cockpit. Immediately after he had lunged across the table and pressed his lips to Jyn's, he knew he had erred. Now, striding towards the bridge, he felt a tide of humiliation wash over him.

Stepping through the door to the cockpit, he noticed K-2 sitting in the pilot seat, absentmindedly picking at the exposed foam of the chair.

"Out," Cassian intoned, his voice low and contained.

Turning towards him, K-2 remained defiantly seated, arms folded across his chest.

"If you weren't planning on being nice to me, you needn't have given me feelings," the droid petulantly answered, adopting the normal bantering tone he used with Cassian.

" _Get out,"_ Cassian hissed, eyes darkening as he glared at the droid. Even as he lashed out at K-2 he realized how unfair he was being, yet it was with certain relish that he berated the droid. "I can take you apart just as easily as I put you together," he added, voice simmering with rage.

K-2 stood from the chair and pushed past Cassian, his silence indicative of the hurt that he felt. _Good,_ Cassian thought as the tall droid exited the cockpit, taking pleasure in distressing the robot.

Sitting down in the pilot seat, Cassian swivelled to face the large windows that separated him from the nothingness that is space. His breath came jaggedly as he tried to reign in the slew of emotions that he was feeling. Gazing into the black of space, Cassian calmed, his anger dissipating. He found that facing the infinite put things into perspective, albeit not by much. He fiddled mindlessly with the controls, checking and re-checking the shield levels and navigation system, futile in his efforts to distract himself.

If he were honest with himself, a practice he generally forbade, he would admit that he was listening for Jyn's footfalls, hoping that she would seek him out. His mind went over the events of the past hour, revisiting every detail he could recall.

 _I just thought she…_ Cassian allowed himself to go no further, unwilling to dwell on such matters. He had acted decidedly foolishly. Actions, he reminded himself, that would never be repeated. There was far too much work to do for him to be thinking about a girl, much less one who would be gone the moment the Alliance let her leave.

* * *

Jyn saw Cassian disappear through the Galley's doorway, shoulders stiff and pace measured, not turning around even as she called out to him.

"Cassian… I," she started, her voice breaking.

She sat down abruptly, her mind fractured by a multitude of different emotions. She hadn't expected any of this… or had she? Had she not been cautiously flirting with him? Had she not given him a suggestive look?

Jyn's thoughts were a mass of contradictions, inexperience and isolation rendering her unsure of her own feelings. She raised a hand to her mouth, fingers playing across her lips.

She knew how this worked. Knew what people did behind closed doors. Knew about the birds, bees, and all the things one was expected to know by her age. But that knowledge was second-hand, inherited from her parents and Saw Gerrara and the lewd rebels she had grown up with. When the time came for her to learn first-hand what she only knew in theory, she had frozen, as if she were caught in Imperial crosshairs.

Before she could recover from her shock, he had withdrawn, hurt playing across his face. She had watched him leave, taking with him the hope of discovering a piece of her she never knew she had. Jyn had never felt such desire, such longing for another person, and as she watched him walk away she felt all hope of exploring that feeling drain away.

Later, lying in her bunk, she slipped into fitful dreams wrapped in the soft warmth of his shirt.

* * *

Cassian had managed to avoid Jyn for the duration of the day, falling into a fitful sleep. He hoped the next day would be the same as he made his way towards the galley in search of breakfast. When he reached the kitchen, he saw Jyn already seated at the table, nutri-bar in hand, and K-2 tinkering with the appliances. Hesitating at the door, he saw Jyn glance up, and he realized he couldn't avoid her any longer.

Stepping through the doorway, he saw K-2 fix him with a withering glare, eyes narrowed. Schooling his features into an apologetic mask, he silently grabbed a nutri-bar and sat down at the table. The tension in the room begged to be cut, with Jyn and Cassian both avoiding eye contact.

K-2's expression of anger quickly turned into confusion as he studied his two shipmates carefully.

"Something is different," he said, glancing suspiciously first at Cassian, then Jyn. Neither of them answered, as they gazed down at their nutri-bars.

K-2 looked back and forth between the two of them, attempting to analyze the sudden shift in mood.

"Is it… menstruation?" he inquired after a moment, glancing at Jyn with mistrust, "hormonal changes make for very unpredictable situations, I find it highly disconcerting."

Cassian coughed violently, seeming to choke on his breakfast, as Jyn drained of all colour. The droid's confusion only grew, and he began glancing between the two of them at an alarming rate. Cassian continued to hack up a lung as Jyn sat frozen, mouth agape.

"It is certainly not," Jyn exclaimed indignantly, recovering from her shock. She glanced wide-eyed to Cassian, who was turning an alarming shade of red.

Suddenly, a beeping noise rang out over the intercom, and Cassian abruptly stood and made to leave the galley.

"We must be close to New Devon," he threw over his shoulder, for Jyn's sake. His voice was steady and sure, the topic of discussion once again familiar. He lithely folded himself through the doorway and disappeared down the hall.

"Duty calls," the droid intoned laconically, following Cassian towards the cockpit. Jyn was left alone, feeling bewildered in all sorts of ways.

In the cockpit, Cassian sat in the pilot seat, swivelling to face the floor-to-ceiling windows. As he had suspected, a bronze planet was growing steadily larger as they approached. With the flick of a lever, Cassian returned the ship to manual control – autopilot was shit at landings.

K-2 entered the bridge and placed himself in the co-pilot chair, still silent in his anger towards Cassian. He fiddled with several switches and dials, ensuring the ship was ready for landing.

"I'm sorry," Cassian intoned quietly, without glancing at the droid. Out of the corner of his eye he saw K-2 turn towards him in surprise, before returning his gaze to the expanse of space before them.

"Quite alright," the droid replied, his anger seemingly dissipated, "one cannot expect reasonability from a human."

Smirking, Cassian kept his eyes on the ever-larger planet, thankful that K-2 was so quick to forgive.

"Is the landing gear prepped?" asked Cassian, all business, as they began orbiting the small planet.

"Check."

"Thrusters engaged?"

"Check."

"Orientation-drive active?"

"Yes boss."

"Alright let's land this tin can," Cassian said, his voice sure and his hands steady. Cassian was never calmer than when he was seated in the pilot chair, with his blaster holstered at his hip. The work made sense, even when so little else in his life did.

As they broke through the atmosphere, Cassian could see the small port town rapidly growing larger as they were drawn in by planetary gravity. He deftly maneuvered the small craft towards the docking stations, slightly outside the settlement. The grayish dust that covered the planet blew around the ship as he gently set the craft down on the landing pad.

After scanning the cockpit and ensuring that everything was appropriately switched off, he rose and exited the cockpit, patting K-2 on the shoulder. He was live with excitement, there were many things that needed to be done on the planet. _Many things that would take you away from Jyn,_ he admitted to himself.

Quickly he made his way off the craft into the dust-covered world outside. Through the gale, he could see people shuffling from building to building, cloth over their faces. Coughing, and then covering his face with one hand, Cassian sought out the site's mechanic.

After trudging through a few meters of ankle-high soot, he reached a small building that abutted the landing area. After reading the sign blinking in the doorway, Cassian let out a few choice words and plodded back to the ship.

Jyn and K-2 waited apprehensively in the mouth of the loading bay, Jyn's eyes squinted against the dust-storm outside.

"Closed for the night," Cassian elucidated, sensing their confusion. "It seems that we'll have to stay planet-side for the night," he added, voice thick from the dust. Eyes flicking to Jyn's face, Cassian could have sworn he saw a flicker of satisfaction.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Hey guys, this one took me a while to write, but hopefully it's worth the wait. This chapter is the most M so far... maybe less so than other fics because of my admiration for a good ol' euphemism. My beloved (to me at least) versions of these characters wouldn't be who they are without their anxiety-riddled inner dialogue, so hopefully you're all into that! As always, reviews are much appreciated (as in I live from review to review), and I don't own any of these lovely characters. Enjoy!

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Ep. 6 - A Borrowed Nerve

The first few hours on New Devon passed quietly; Cassian and K-2 took inventory of the ship and otherwise made sure the craft was properly settled. Meanwhile, Jyn had taken to sitting in the cockpit, half-curled up in the pilot seat. Through the swirling grey dust, she could faintly make out the bustling movement of people, trudging through the storm outside. She figured that the gale must be common, as it didn't seem to impede the inhabitants of the little outpost from doing their day-to-day activities.

Her mind began to wander, retracing the last few days and all they had held. The beaten-up ship with its equally battered crew, their narrow escape from the Empire, the nights of cards and camaraderie, hidden scars and unexpected kisses. All these memories flooded through Jyn's head, leaving her confused and flustered. Her fingers absentmindedly played over the scar on her wrist, tracing the raised edge.

As the light from the twin suns began to fade, the visibility outside decreased further, until Jyn could no longer make out the movement of people or the edges of the buildings mere meters from the ship. She sighed, leaning back in the seat and closing her eyes, almost comfortable.

* * *

Cassian paused at the door of the cockpit, his heart flip-flopping at the sight of Jyn curled up in the pilot chair. _His chair_ , a part of him seemed to say, but he quickly suffocated the desire he was beginning to feel. He cleared his throat by way of announcing his presence, and Jyn's eyes blinked open in response.

"We're going," he cleared his throat, trying to rid his voice of its unwanted huskiness. "We're going to take advantage of being planet-side," he continued, his voice still low and lilting. "Check out the local cantina and see if there's any sort of warmth for the Alliance around here."

Cassian turned to leave, trying fruitlessly to clear his throat. He was beginning to suspect that the timbre of his voice had less to do with any affliction, and more to do with the unwanted effect Jyn seemed to have on him.

"Is that an invitation?" Jyn called after him, half-trying to re-establish their old banter, and half-genuinely asking.

Cassian paused in the doorway, turning his head slightly.

"As much of one as you're going to get," he answered gruffly, leaving the bridge without checking to see if Jyn was following him.

After grinning to herself, Jyn quickly rose from the pilot's chair, bashing her elbow as she did. Swearing mildly, she followed the blushing captain down into the loading bay.

K-2 was waiting by the outer hull doors, looking about as resigned as a droid could look. Jyn was struck again by how human-like the hulking robot was, not only verbally, but also in his mannerisms.

"I don't see why we have to leave the ship," the droid intoned petulantly, "you know half the people out there want to sell me for parts." K-2 managed an excellent impression of a pout, gazing wearily out into the dust storm. Cassian only rolled his eyes, used to the bothersome droid.

"Don't worry Kay-tue," Jyn said, barely managing to keep from laughing, "I'll scare away all the mean humans." She patted him reassuringly – and, unbeknownst to him, mockingly – on the arm.

Looking slightly placated, K-2 made his way out of the ship into the tempest outside. Jyn quickly followed, gripping the hand of the droid so as not to get lost in the swirling dust. After a few moments, she felt a warm hand encircling her arm and turned to see Cassian behind her, eyes squinted against the storm.

They proceeded as such, clutching one-another, until the shining metal of storefronts appeared before them. Moving half-blindly from shop to shop, they finally reached a squat building that was advertising all sorts of intoxicants, and made their way inside.

The bar was half-full, with an assortment of people seated around circular tables or atop bar stools. A man with iridescent skin was flipping and shaking containers of molten-looking liquid behind a wooden bar. In comparison to the grimy patrons, the bartender seemed other-worldly, like he didn't quite fit on this hole-in-the wall planet

Jyn, Cassian and K-2 garnered a few sidelong glances, but they were soon forgotten as the downtrodden customers returned to their drinks. They slid into a circular booth in a corner, tucked away from the rest of the bar. The pressing of a few buttons led to a couple of glasses filled with a rich amber liquid being brought to their table by a small serving droid. K-2 glared contemptuously at the little robot, disdain evident in his metallic features.

* * *

Hours slipped by in a hazy manner as the serving droid brought round after round of foul-tasting liquor to their table. Uncaring of the bitter flavour, Jyn and Cassian continued to drink, ignoring the complaints of K-2 concerning the recklessness of intoxication. After a long period of uncomfortable silence broken by awkward attempts at conversation, K-2 left to go back to the ship, grumbling about the probability of a grungy New Devoner kidnapping him.

The alcohol was slowly stripping Jyn of her inhibitions, and she found her eyes lingering on the hollow of Cassian's throat, the gape in his worn shirt, the curve of his mouth. She had the faint sense that her glances were bordering on lascivious, but she found she didn't care. He was smoking a long pipe, blowing rings absentmindedly, lost in thought. Studying his face, his gaze turned distinctly away from her, she observed the tense set of his jaw.

"Kay-tue was better company," she smirked into the bottom of her glass, resisting the pervasive urge to giggle.

Cassian's eyes flickered to her face, a weary smile threatening to reveal itself, glad that Jyn had broken the silence between them. He couldn't help but notice the way her shirt – _his shirt –_ parted just below her clavicle.

 _She doesn't want you,_ he thought, finding it increasingly difficult to convince himself with each half-lidded glance she sent him.

"Not half as pretty, though," he quipped, wincing internally at how husky his voice had become. He could swear her eyes flitted across his form before returning to his face. Every damn nerve in his body felt charged.

"Maybe not…" Jyn softly conceded, trailing off before suddenly scooting closer to him. "Show me?" She asked glancing towards the pipe, forgotten in his hand.

After a confused second Cassian realized she was asking him to teach her how to blow a smoke ring. The alcohol did nothing to damper the tension he felt as she sat mere inches from his side. He passed the pipe over to her, surprise rendering him silent. On Fest, pipe smoking was as much a part of the culture as breathing, and he had faint memories of sitting at his mother's feet mesmerized by the curling tendrils of smoke.

Jyn inhaled deeply from the pipe, emboldened by liquid courage, and proceeded to violently cough for the next half-minute. After her fit subsided, she saw Cassian doubled over in gasping laughter, tears streaming from his eyes. Eyes alight with mirth and indignation, she punched him in the arm none too gently.

" _Asshole_ , you should have warned me," she cried, hiccoughing slightly. Cassian tried to calm down, attempting a straight face before bursting into another fit of giggles, which prompted Jyn to join in.

After they had calmed, Cassian walked her through the process, his focus evident in the furrow of his brow.

"Inhale slowly," he explained patiently, and Jyn complied. After pulling in a steady breath she was hit by the sudden headiness she felt, the pipe doing nothing to detract from her giddiness. She exhaled, blowing a sweet smoke over the table.

"Okay," Cassian continued, "this time, form an 'O' shape with your mouth, and push your breath out a bit at a time." Eyes alight with focus, Jyn did as he said with little success, exhaling a shapeless mass of smoke.

"No," he said liltingly, sliding further towards her, "like this."

Cassian cupped her chin in his hands, applying a gentle pressure to the sides of her mouth, coaxing them into the shape of an 'O'.

Jyn felt her breath hitch in her chest, the room seeming to suddenly hush with anticipation. Eyes searching her face, Cassian froze, easing the pressure on her chin but keeping his hand there. She leaned into him, and he noted how it would only take the slightest of movements to press his lips to hers.

 _She doesn't want you,_ the voice in his head reminded him, and it was as if he had been doused in cold water.

Cassian abruptly let go of her chin, and started to slide out of the booth, barely glancing at Jyn as the events of the days before played on loop in his head.

"We better get back to the ship," he commented gruffly, as his long legs took him quickly away from Jyn and the temptation he felt. He didn't look back as he pushed through the door of the cantina, striding into the night outside.

Jyn remained frozen for a moment, alcohol-inhibited mind struggling to make sense of what had happened and the sudden sense of loss she felt. Quickly she rose to her feet, and with haste followed the captain out of the bar, trying to avoid stumbling.

By the time she made it to the door, she could see that Cassian was halfway to the ship. She scarcely noticed that the raging storm had ceased, revealing a beautiful night sky, as she stumbled towards their craft. She called after him but he kept quickly moving, either unable to hear her or purposely ignoring her.

Jyn closed the gap between them, entering the ship mere meters behind Cassian, trying to get his attention.

"Cassian, I…" she began, unsure what she meant to say. He stopped ahead of her, still facing away, panting not just from exertion.

Slowly, he turned on his heels, his face a confused mixture of defensive anger and desire. His eyes bore into hers, their colour indiscernible in the darkened passageway of the ship.

One moment there was space between them and the next there wasn't as Jyn threw herself at Cassian. The force of her movement caused him to take a step backwards, back pressing against the passage wall. Her lips pressed to his, inexperience more than made up for in passion as she cupped his face, one hand sliding into his hair. After a shocked moment, he responded in kind, fervently kissing her back as his arms slid around her waist.

With no conversation other than the sound of their ragged breathing, Cassian gripped Jyn by the hand and pulled her the short distance to his quarters, the door sliding shut with a muffled thud. Now that they were separated, familiar sensations of uncertainty and anxiety kept Jyn rooted to the spot. Her desire however, was no less dampened, and she gazed at him with open want.

He returned her gaze for a moment, jaw slack and eyes dark, before suddenly crouching at her feet, beginning to untie her boots. Surprised, she found the gesture overwhelmingly endearing, and her longing grew to near fever pitch. She threaded her fingers through his hair, steadying herself while satisfying her urge to touch him.

After he slid off her boots, he slowly rose from the crouch, until he stood barely an inch from her. His height necessitated the tilt of her head, raised so she could meet his gaze, eyes heavy-lidded. Cassian gently cupped her face, mouth poised a breath away from hers, as if asking permission. Following a second that could have easily been an eternity, he once again fitted his lips to hers.

There were no awkward propositions or fumbled questions as he ran his fingers down the back of her shirt – _his shirt_ – both Cassian and Jyn at an understanding of what was about to happen. With growing fervor, his shirt was yanked from his pants, shoes toed off and promptly forgotten. With alcohol-driven nerve the buttons of her shirt – _his shirt_ – popped open, one by one. With tempered need, the pile of clothes on the floor grew, as did the charged anticipation.

As Jyn lay on her back, staring heatedly into Cassian's eyes, she saw the mixture of longing, excitement, and nervousness she was feeling reflected on his face. She thought of the time she first saw him, brow furrowed as it so often was. She thought of the time he sang to her, embarrassed but proud. She thought of when he traced small, comforting circles on her wrist, eyes intent on hers.

And then she couldn't seem to think about anything at all.


End file.
